STEVENS REVIEW: THIS SADISTIC PARODY OF CILLA BLACK'S BLIND DATE WASN'T A LORRA LORRA FUN
Handcuffed: Last Pair Standing (Channel 4)
Jonathan Ross says he has no desire to be a 'national treasure'. Good thing, really. He's been on our screens and radios for 40 years, yet there's curiously little public affection for him.
Within the industry, as Celebrity Traitors made clear, he has always been a powerful figure, a 'big dog'. His Halloween showbiz shindigs were a thing of legend, rivalling the anyone-who-is-anyone parties once thrown by David Frost or Elton John.
A true national treasure can count on public indulgence for their failings and mistakes — but Ross has never been forgiven for the humiliating practical joke he and Russell Brand played on actor Andrew Sachs nearly 20 years ago.
Audiences recognise his professional gifts, his easy confidence and endless spiel, but they don't seem to warm to Wossy.
This was especially apparent as he stepped into Cilla Black's shoes for a sadistic parody of Blind Date. Using her catchphrase, Jonathan Ross asked players, 'What's your name and where do you come from?' before rolling back a screen to let the couples see each other for the first time.
Cilla, whatever her flaws, was a bona fide national treasure. For Jonathan Ross to swipe one of her signature phrases seemed disrespectful.
Quite why he was presenting Handcuffed: Last Pair Standing was not clear. Once he'd matched up the nine couples, shackled them and extracted a soundbite from each player, his job appeared to be over.
The duos were sent off, joined at the wrist, to investigate each other's lives. They'll eat, sleep and use the bathroom together, as long as they can bear it. The pair who last longest will share a £100,000 prize.
It's as artificial a format as anyone could devise. Channel 4 does love a bit of voyeurism dressed up as social research, so the players have been selected to ensure maximum contrast and tension.
'A wemarkable expurrment,' said Jonathan. 'Can divided Britain settle its many differences?'
Gay feminist businesswoman Jo, a 'body positive' advocate with a slogan on her T-shirt reading '100 per cent full fat', was cuffed to property developer and full-time cheeky chappie Reuben, who called her 'Baby' until she warned him off. After that, he called her 'Love'.
Cleaner and barmaid Tilly, 37, hit it off with 60-year-old millionaire Anthony so well they were taking a shower together by lunchtime. Something about his classic car collection seemed to appeal to her, though Anthony's boyfriend didn't appear overly worried.
The real odd couple were George, a former prison officer with a chip the size of a breezeblock on his shoulder, and aristo Sir Ben, in his silk smoking jacket.
They set off for the baronet's country estate, where Ben proudly showed off his collection of paintings, including a faded watercolour by Adolf Hitler.
A lively political discussion ensued over dinner, and the boltcutters came out before the port was served.
Not a lorra lorra fun.
Read more 2026-03-03T00:28:50Z